Social Media- My Excuse to be a Loner in Real Life.

I admit it. I have a problem. I’ve completely, uninhibitedly immersed myself into the world of social media and can’t find my way back. It all started when I realized that I like people more when I interact with them online than when I do in real life. For instance, when my Facebook profile was active and updated on an hourly basis, I’d tell acquaintances, friends, and, even, family to contact me on Facebook. Honestly, I’d reply to a post on my wall or a comment on my status faster than to a text or call on my cell phone. Recently, I deactivated my Facebook because I wanted a summer free of being an attention seeker who would post pointless attention-seeking statuses, an obsessive stalker who couldn’t log off without checking Fernie’s profile at least once, and to just stop being nosy and not give a hoot about what other people were doing. The latter is the more important of the three reasons because Facebook gave me the information I needed to compare myself to people I knew. More often than not, I always used some twisted logic to make myself fall short. I couldn’t stop beating myself up for not being that girl that landed her dream internship or not being the girl who was having a blast in London because she decided to study abroad for the summer or, more depressingly, not being the girl who was dating that really nice guy (who I totally wrote off during high school). It’s been refreshing not having Facebook, except for one sad fact that, even though it’s mean, I can’t bring myself to fix: I don’t keep in contact with anyone. I transform from a social butterfly into a damn recluse. It’s quite depressing to see how fast I fall off the face of the earth when I don’t have Facebook. Sometimes, I felt like I was someone else on Facebook; a perkier, friendlier, less pessimistic version of real life me. Even though that was the case, I’ve come to embrace the young woman that I am without social media. I love my time alone away from the probing eyes of the people I know and the computer screen that connects me to strangers because I get to reflect on the pressures of being an English major in a world dominated by the sciences and my not-so-lovely love life and the strong, independent woman I want to become in this messy, unorganized world. This is not to say that I have banned all social media from my life. I still frequent websites like Tumblr and (obviously) WordPress on a regular basis. I love interacting with strangers that live in various parts of the country and who are in different stages in their lives from me, but who, ultimately, I can relate to in some way. Even though the interweb has its flaws and social media can be a damaging blow to your ego, it connects us to people we might have never dreamed about meeting. Now that is pretty damn important.

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